Depression

I think I might be suffering from depression. Don't know whether it's true or not. All I know is that, at this very moment, I'm STILL not happy... at all! I didn't go for work today. I've never been so depress before. that kind of rejection... it's so hard to breath.

It all started quite long ago but I never take it seriously cause I thought it's only a mild one. But it went worst since last Friday night. I started crying for God knows what reason and I can't even stop myslef. As if I was full with bitterness. That kind of pain and depression... I can't describe how I feel. I only remember myself crying as hard as I could, as loud as I could, and as much as I could. It went on for almost 2 hours. It's not that I want to torture myself this way. I mean, why would I? It's so suffering! I can hardly catch my breath. And when I look myself into the mirror, I was horrified! I never see myself like that. My eyes were swallon. They looked really scary! And for a moment, I thought that the reflection in the mirror was going to take me away. I honestly don't know what's happening to me.

I've shared this in KY yesterday. When I fetch Pearly back, she told me that she's worried for me and that my situation now is a BIG CASE. well, I don't know. I wish not to visit any doc someday. I need Jesus only. Desperately. I did thought over the reasons that made me feel this way. Might be:

• My relationship with my family
• My relationship with Thong
• My relationship with God
• The way I handle my emotions
• The desires I desire to have immediately
• Love
• etc...

Please pray for me.