Ain't it funny?

I'm now writing this in KLCC. Not in any cafe, i.e. Startbucks, but am now in Maxis center. Using mua friend's company laptop to type this. Oh well, today I'm a chief again for Carley. And I think I did pretty well.

but yet again, the reason why I'm trying this now is because a collegue of hers said he cannot access to mua bloggie. Honestly, I don't exactly know the reason cause he's not the first who said so. I'm pretty sure it's not mua problem anyway. Blame it on his company's lousy laptop... hehehehhahahaha.... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakakakakakakakakakakaka~!

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I'm having a mix feeling right now. I've always tell myself to enjoy this single life. but as hard as I tried, and as well as I thought, the truth is it ain't that fulfilling at all. I thought, living a busy life means I'm getting over it... soon. And I thought, by rejecting others means I'm giving myself a chance to choose a better one. Yet it's ain't that simple. I'm just cheating on myself, trying to burried the pain and the feeling I still have for him. How many times have I thought of a miracle that might happen and so that I might live life unmiserably anymore. Why am I being so foolish? as I said a trillion, or even zillion times ago that I HATE PEOPLE WHO LIVE THEIR LIFE MISERABLY. These kinda people are stupid, brainless and above all - HOPELESS~!

Bur ironicly, I realized that I'm still one of them... stupid huh? I'm still so childish, or should I say - a JERK!

I wanna love myself more. I wanna achieve my ambiton. I wanna persue my career as a performer. I wanna do so many things. But I guess I can never ever start any of these desires if I ever refuse to take a big step forward.

If one day I can ever get to get over him, I guess that's the greatest step I'd ever make.

Yet again, I have to confess... That I really still love him... very much deeply.

Thankx for reading. and yes, I promised to blog in Mandarine again... SOON!