yea... I'm a cry baby whenever I watch movies. any movies at all! don't know what's wrong with me. can cry like hell... sigh. well, today I watch Spirited Away and You Got Served. Love these 2 movies very much. touching, exciting and meaningfull... geess.... guess I'm gonna cry again...
Let's talk about relationship today. well, those of you who know me well knows I'm DESPERATE for a boyfriend. but then, I feel so so SO insecure to get involve in a relationship. after the past 2 experiences, I've learn my lessons. and by learning from my friendS' puppy loves, I'm so doubtful of finding the true love. think I'm stupid to give up just like that huh? well, as I said, I AM desperate for a boyfriend. I need someone special to hold me or even hug me when I'm feeling down or whenever I need it. or even just to stay beside me in whatever situation, just to let me feel save. frankly, I day dream about having a boyfriend everyday. and I mean every single day. ya... I know I'm berserk.
did I just mention that I feel really insecure in a relationship? I hate to be hurt and I hate to be dump. and unfortunately, I'm always the one who will be dumped. what's the point getting involve in a relationship where there's no commitment and promises are just lies to cheer one party up? I know I'm still young and I admit that I'm immature. but I've grown up and I know what true love is. I may haven't meet the One yet, but I learn from people's example.
today, this guy in my class did something that shows his immaturity. and everyone can see for themselves that who's the victim and who's the one spreading all the gossips around and trying to hurt the victim. I mean, c'on, since the relationship ended, why do you still wanna bother and continue to hurt her? you won't be benefit, but being hatred in return. Even though if she didn't tell us what's happening, we can see for our own eyes. dude, you know who you are. if you're reading this, WAKE UP! you're just making a fool of yourself instead of trying to turn people away from her. I'm not saying I hate you and I don't like to hate anybody. but I'm starting to have sympathy on you... cause you're so lonely... you get what I mean?
sigh... one example that keeps me away from my faith in a relationship. I believe that there's true love. but I'm doubtful whether it'll happen on me. maybe when I grow older someday, I'll be more wiser and start believing it. but for now... yaya, i know... SPM. but still, I'm keeping my fingers cross and I pray to God that one find day, The One will come into my life and change me... some way some how.... haha...
88 days to SPM
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